What is Self Care, Really?
By: Ally Clinard
What does it really, truly mean to practice self care? This is a question I have battled with for so many years. Funnily enough, even after spending hundreds of dollars on the best skin care and stacks of self help books, I found myself still feeling really unfulfilled. Maybe this whole self care thing just wasn’t for me, or maybe it’s all just a myth. If you are anything like me, quarantine during the COVID-19 pandemic has been a true struggle for more reasons than just trying to exist during a global crisis. With the boom of social media influencers and the way that the industry has grown, I found myself comparing what my everyday life looked like versus what strangers online said their self care routine was. I would mindlessly scroll through video after video of girl’s sharing their fitness routines, yoga flows, favorite books for mindfulness, crystals that they hold for spiritual energy, or meditations that they follow religiously to achieve so-called mindfulness. These influencers always looked so put together, so on top of things, and so ahead of me with this whole not-just-existing-but-actually-living vibe. They really seemed to LOVE themselves by doing a 20-step skincare routine and 2 hour workout at the most expensive cult workout studios. Yeah, that’s great and all to share your pilates secrets or the proper way apply, but what they don’t tell you is how do you even start this self care journey?
As cynical as I sound, my underlying message is that self-care has become a monetized industry that is marketed to be only achievable through financial success. I would know, as I fell for this for years before really figuring out what self care actually is. Just a few months ago, I was listening to a podcast when I heard the most revolutionary message. It was an interview with a mental health professional who shared that “the greatest myth out there about self care is that you need money to attain it. Truth is, the best self care is free and it's more attainable than you think, you might already be practicing it.” These words stuck in my head and truly changed my outlook on life, and as exaggerated as that sounds, the core of life is the love and relationship you have with yourself.
Self care begins with practicing the affirmations you tell yourself. The amount you love yourself is not reliant on if you completed your skincare routine or not, it’s reliant on the words and actions you show yourself. Starting your day by telling yourself the words you need to hear, even if you don’t believe them yet, is the basis of taking care of your mind. From there, self care is following through with everyday actions that make you feel good and in touch with yourself. Personally, I realized my everyday self care actions were journaling in the morning and night, walking daily, listening to podcasts, and going on drives. These daily activities helped me learn about myself, feel more in touch with myself, and most importantly fall in love with being alone. Over time, I became my favorite company and practicing self care became a daily routine that made me feel as though I was at peace with whatever my day would throw at me. All of this is to say that committing to yourself is the first step in self care routines. There is no perfect routine, and even if it seems like your favorite Instagram influencer has it all figured out, you don’t need to swipe up on paid sponsorships to achieve a falsified reality that is only offered through money. In fact, a great first step is to come to the realization that comparison really is the thief of joy in life, and your life is yours for a reason. I truly feel like that mindset shift from comparison to individualism has saved my soul.
The theme of this all is that self care has become an industry, when in reality it is an individual practice. You don’t need to spend hundreds on a gym membership or Kardashian-level skincare, but rather invest in yourself and commitment to your own growth. A common misconception in life is the idea of reaching a finish line to finally be happy. In reality, you never will stop growing. It isn’t about perfection and achieving a perfect overall peace, it is about progress and growth.